THE LEMON CAR LOT                                   

The Human Sun
Solija Mitzi Rian

Mole is a song that was supposed to be released in early May or June, but was never finished. The snippet that you hear is one of the earliest recordings through voice memos. I wanted to showcase the abruptness and beauty of someone coming into your life and leaving as fast as they came. Simultaneously, I needed to accept the fact that sometimes, people won’t be able to reciprocate back.

Essentially, with a lot of my work, I try to get what’s in my head out first, and then, I worry about what’s good or bad later. This recording proved that “good” or “bad” simply didn’t matter.


This is yet another unfinished tune from a few months back. Instead of jotting down another choppy stanza in my journal, I decided to pluck a few chords on my guitar and let the words flow. Although I had a sore throat, I told myself to just click record. I think a lot of “first takes” as voice memos are important because they allow you to make a home for vulnerability. Something as simple as four unfinished lines can bring one meditative release.

As a musician/writer, I always seem to take note of the little things that make me feel more human. When a word becomes a sound, my brain automatically taps into the initial feelings and experience regardless of them being positive or not. I felt tired of all the non-stop editing and ‘tweaking for publication’ crap and wanted to attempt something that was intensive, flowing, and raw.  


On Identity and Failure

I would say as musicians, writers, and even artists, we’re all prone to failure. I think that’s what it’s all about. It’s definitely where it all starts.

I am angry with myself sometimes when I don’t finish a song, and I hate myself most of the time when I don’t ace a certain sound. A wise person once told me that as makers, we are meant to feel this way because an artist’s relationship with failure is supposed to be the heart of the whole creative process. It technically plays a role in the sum of our parts as creatives. It’s something intangible that keeps us going. It gives us a reason to attempt again, and again, and again. I think, if we use it to our advantage, if we care for it like a good take, or a good photograph, or a good stroke, we can end up learning a ton more than we ought to.

A lot of my works, last year and this year, are unfinished and far from perfect. There are so many factors that influence this, but at the same time, who cares? With my mistakes, shortcomings, and days where I am off creatively, sometimes there is no legitimate answer. Failure has a lot to do with being human. At the end of the day, we’re all just human.



Solija Mitzi Rian is a Texas-based multimedia artist, writer, and musician, with contributions to Sagebrush Review and Applause. She studies creative writing at the University of Texas at San Antonio, graduating this summer with high hopes of someone ugly-crying after reading her work. The essence of introspective simplicity and documenting the world through her eccentric lived experience is the core of her performance and writing. Her hair is multicolored.

︎ @thehumansun